I’ve always wondered what it was like to know who you were as a person. As in, how do I know who I am? Or that I am acting normally as I usually would in any given situation. Sometimes when I am in a slump and depressed, my friends would tell me that I am “not acting like myself”. How do you know? How do I know? In high school I was a very shy individual who was fairly nice and outgoing in most occasions. I never hesitated to say hello to someone. Sure I kept my head down when I walked in the hallways, but I always offered a smile to any unknown bystander. All of a sudden for multiple reasons I was spiraling in a tornado of darkness. I was depressed and “not acting like myself”. Of course I was different because I was depressed. I didn’t eat, I barely slept, and I limited my communication with people. But when I slipped out of that, I wasn’t necessarily back to my “old self”. As humans, we are always changing. People never really stay the same. It’s sad, but wonderful all at the same time. We change for a variety of reasons; to know better next time, to be stronger, to be more aware, but sometimes we harden our hearts to others. We may think that it’s better that way, but we shouldn’t assume the worst at all times. We should be careful, yes. But we shouldn’t shut people out in fear that we will only be hurt and used by anyone who crosses our path. I am a different person. I am not the same girl I was in high school. I am more aware and stronger. Even if I don’t always feel strong, I know that I am. I will never let anyone take advantage of me or hurt me again. I am not as outgoing as I used to be although I am working on it. I feel more withdrawn. I observe people more than anything. I feel that I am always trying to see my limits. What I can or shouldn’t say. What I should do and what I can’t do. I am pushing myself through obstacles and striving to overcome most of my fears and curiosity. When I leave this world I would like to leave with no regrets and all horrible things from my past forgiven. I learn something new about myself every day. I react to everything differently. I am striving to be calmer and less anxious. I am never really sure who I am all the time, but I am happy that I try to be myself and don’t let anyone else try to change me. Honestly why should anyone limit themselves to a title anyway? We have many and unique characteristics that only define a small part of a whole. My advice? I don’t think anyone should spend more time than they have to, to find themselves. I think they should use that time to accept and love themselves for anything they are or love.